A Take 2 Minutes article by Charley Rose.
Shifting the way that I talk to myself has done absolute wonders with my anxiety and depression. I have also helped a handful of clients put it into practice and seen their lives transform.
I am excited to share this amazing, simple practice with you so that you can start living a happier, healthier life too!
You might be wondering, what the heck is self-talk? It was a foreign concept to me too when I began my mental health journey. This is simply the way that you talk to yourself. There is always a little voice inside your head telling you what to do and how to feel.
The first step is realizing that this voice is there. You may not even be aware that it exists. It has been part of you so long that you probably never even acknowledge it.
Start to listen to it. What kinds of things are you saying to yourself? Often when struggling with anxiety and depression, that inner voice is telling you false claims like some of these common ones:
These are just a few examples. Everyone's self-talk is going to be based on their own experiences.
All of these things that your inner voice is telling you are simply beliefs that you hold about yourself. It is like a person who is passing judgment on everything that you do, say, and feel. Except, that person is you!
Because they dictate how you are going to live your life.
If you believe that you are not good enough to pursue your passion as a career, you may never try. As a result, you will be stuck in a job that fails to fulfill you and is a waste of your amazing talents!
These beliefs also dictate how others treat you. If you are constantly abusing yourself emotionally, then you will allow others to do the same. In fact, if you feel that you always end up in relationships where you are mistreated and taken advantage of, you may be allowing this to happen because you don't truly believe that you deserve to be surrounded by amazing people who love you for exactly who you are...
...But, you do deserve that!
Here are three easy steps to start loving yourself and living an amazing life!
Whether you are familiar with identifying your negative beliefs or you just learned what they are, everyone exhibits harsh self-talk. But, when you start to pay attention to the thoughts in your head that are tearing you down, you will begin to peel back the layers of negative beliefs
Some negative beliefs may be obvious. You may find that you tell yourself "I am so dumb, why did I do that?" or "Stop being so lazy. You're worthless."
Others will be harder to identify. You may get scared or anxious in a particular situation. When this happens, start to think about why you feel that way. Is it because you don't believe that you are capable of something? Or, maybe because of a past experience you don't feel safe or valued.
Once you identify a negative belief, it's time to change it!
If you are filled with negative beliefs that are making you feel horrible, then the solution is to change how you feel about yourself.
If you believe that you are a wonderful, strong, and intelligent person then you are going to feel excited to share that with the world!
For every negative belief that you hold, there is an event in your past that made you feel that way. It may have been the way your family treated you, or maybe something someone said to you on the playground when you were six.
The beliefs that we hold about ourselves are often formed at a very young age. When you are a child or teenager, your logic is not quite as sound as when you are an adult.
So, why do we hold onto these beliefs if we now have the intelligence to know that they aren't true? Because we don't even know that they are there!
Negative beliefs hide in our subconscious. Once you learn to start pulling them out, you can consciously choose to change them!
Here is the trick...
For every negative belief that you find, put it into an "I believe statement." For example, "I believe that it is not safe to be vulnerable" is a very common belief for anyone who has ever had their vulnerabilities used against them.
If this has happened to you, then the fear that it will happen again is what is enforcing this belief. So, to change that you simply have to choose to believe something else.
Turn your negative belief statement into a positive one! "I believe that it is safe to be vulnerable."
Once you have your positive statement, think about all the reasons that it is true. To disprove this example, you could say: "There always be people out there who want to take advantage of me, but I am strong and smart enough to defend myself."
Once you have disproven the negative statement, the last thing to do is reinforce the positive one!
The subconscious mind can be a pesky thing. Its' job is to keep you safe and it does so by forming these beliefs based on your previous experiences. In order to change your self-talk, you are going to have to reinforce this positive belief.
Everyday practice telling yourself this new positive belief. It may not feel true at first, and that's okay.
The more you put the belief into practice, the more confident you will become in its truth.
Start with one or two beliefs that you want to change, and once you feel the amazing results you will be so excited to keep going!
You can be whatever you choose to believe you are.
Choose to believe you are an amazing, kind, and deserving person. After all, that is what you are!
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